He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
