How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
