Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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