i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
