all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
