Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
