You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
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sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
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I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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