I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
