i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
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we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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