winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
