We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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