guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sext me about skeletons
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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