My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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