Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
