I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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