found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
