I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
