you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
