she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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