i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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