Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch

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(586): View more from Michigan

just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall

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(+48): View more from Poland

there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover

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(850): View more from Florida

....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP

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(206): View more from Washington

Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.

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(+61): View more from Australia

This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business

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(334): View more from Alabama

All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.

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