Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
