You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
