I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
