So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
