Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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