dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
3 2 1 whiskey
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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