Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize