I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
