Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
