What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
