I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
