I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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