you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Randomize
