At least make sure they are 18
Why
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
