Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
