I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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