Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You are the jesus of drinking
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
