You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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