This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
