best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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