Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
