She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
