There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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