In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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