actually, I'm a sock model
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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