I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
