Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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