Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
