You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
