the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
