I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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