haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
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