whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
