Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize