did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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