we have pet lesbian snakes
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we're making bets on your personal life
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
