My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How external is "for external use only"?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
