My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.