don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?