We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.