I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
