Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!