operation harelip BJ is a go
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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