Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
