Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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