Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
