Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
